Friday, June 19, 2009

Some back story for ya...

So hey everyone, I know I have been MIA but I usually write on here when I'm at work(like right now) but lately I haven't been in the office too much. I'm working on getting out of the military! WOOT WOOT! So excited but exhausting because I have so many appointments and whatnot that I have to do. Soooooo I figured that I would put up a link to my old journal.

I started writing it the begining of my senior year in high school and kept it until about a year ago or so. And since I'm not writing on here that much lately I thought I'd give yall some reading material.

But please, be nice.....I was 17 when I started it and was all over the place =^)

Thursday, May 21, 2009


It is my first week back at work and if I thought I was sleep deprived before...I was wrong. Atleast when I was home, I could sleep in till about 9 or so but now I'm getting up at 5:30 every morning and not going to bed till after 12 usually....and then there's the whole getting up with her in between those times too. And no naps. It sucks but I'm dealing with it because I only have about 33 more working days left. I technically get out August 22 but I've got some leave saved up so I start my separation leave July 8th. Woot Woot! =^)

Then I'm going to try to stay home for a few more months before I go back to work. 1) I need a break between jobs and 2) I want to wait to put Catherine into daycare until she is old enough to atleast hold herself up and interact a little bit. I think it's pointless to put an infant in daycare when all they do is eat, sleep and poop and 3) I've been saving my money like crazy so I could have a couple months without work and not completely live off my husband.

Oh! And speaking of bodily functions....Catherine and James had a good laugh at my expense last night. So, I was watching the finale of American Idol last night and Catherine was sleeping in the bedroom while James was watching TV in there. Well, when they announced that Kris won(hell yeah, btw), I let out this loud squeal followed by "OHMYGOD!!! ICANTBELIEVEIT!" Then a minute later James comes walking into the living room pissed off because he said that my squeal startled Catherine and she was now awake and screaming. Yeah, so he storms off and is getting her ready for a bath and I walked in there trying to make peace. Well, Catherine is laying on the changing table in just her diaper and James is in the bathroom starting the water. Once I see that he's done adjusting the water, I take her diaper off and pick her up.....I had her for maybe 10 seconds and was just about to hand her over to James when all of a sudden I feel something warm. The little hussy peed all over me! She stops crying and James is trying his best to not crack up laughing. I yelled at him "Go ahead! Laugh it up!" Which he did, the whole time he was giving her a bath. After I got cleaned up, I walked into the bathroom and asked James "So, can you honestly still be mad at me after that?" He shook his head and started cracking up again.

They are both such punks! I don't even think about being peed on with a girl. I always knew that boys do it all the time but I guess the girls have their ways too!

Anyways....I have to go put my tennis shoes on because we are about to have Command PT. I'm really not in the mood to PT but I gotta get some of this baby weight off before summer's over.

Hope all is well in the land of bloggers! =^)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

what's sleep? I forgot how.

So it is now 2:30 in the AM and I am sitting in my living room waiting for my babygirl to wake up so I can feed her and change her and finally get back to sleep myself. I would post pictures but I take most of them with my phone and I don't know where the cord that connects my phone to my computer is. So, once I find that (or buy a new one) I'll upload them on here.

So it's so crazy to think that she will be a month old next Saturday!!! I mean, it seems like just yesterday I was pregnant and going into labor. But at the same time it feels like she's been in my life forever.

I go back to work 3 weeks from tomorrow (or today I guess) and I REALLY do not want to. Well, the good thing is I'm only back at work for 7 weeks and then I start my separation leave for another 8 weeks! I am so dang excited about that! I'm trying to figure out our money situation right now so hopefully I can stay home with Catherine for a little bit longer before I go back to work too. My ideal situation would be to stay home until she starts school, then go back to work. But I know that I can't really do that at the moment. Although, I have saved up quite a bit of money and James just got promoted so I do have a little bit of wiggle room. I probably don't have to work a 40hr work week, so I'll take what I can get.

Well, I just wanted to update yall on what's going on here. I'm still loving every second of being a mommy and a wife and for the first time in a long time, I can't complain about anything. Life is good!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

very quick update

Hey everyone! So I bet you're all wondering about me and the baby....

Well, my water broke at 11pm on the 1st and I had my beautiful babygirl at 6:32pm on the 2nd. She was 8lbs 6oz and 21 and a half inches. She has the most beautiful dark blue eyes I've ever seen and she is now my whole world!

Labor sucked! I had an epidural but they had to stop it in order for me to push her out haha. The nurse asked me to do a couple practice pushes and kept telling me to push and I was like "I am I am!!!" But apparently, I wasn't. So I felt everything and OMFG it was PAINFUL!!!

But worth every second. I will try to post a couple pics soon if she gives me a chance. She is a complete handful, but I'm loving every second of it. James is being absolutely amazing too. I was scared that we were going to bump heads alot after she was born but we actually make an awesom team.

I'm loving life and my family and couldn't ask for anything more!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Any day now

So I am 39 weeks pregnant and my due date is on Monday. However, I can say with 100% certanty that the 4th will be the actual 9 month mark since conception =^) So my babygirl should be here any day now.

I'm nervous. Scared. Excited. Worried. Impatient. Happy and sad all at the same time right now....which I'm sure most of you, who have been here, experienced too. I'm so excited that I will be able to hold her for the first time soon and that I will have a better version of me and my husband to take care of and guide and love. But I'm scared out of my will I deal with the no sleep? What if I can't figure out why she's crying? What if she gets really sick? What if I mess up? How will I ever be able to walk out the door or watch the news again without thinking "Something bad could happen to her??"

I never thought that I would ever have kids. It just wasn't something that I looked forward to in my life. I mean, it's not like I didn't want's just I could never picture myself as a parent. I was never the girl that said to herself "One day I want __ kids" If I was around friends who had babies, I didn't know what to say or how to act around them. I'd see other people just talking away to the baby or toddler and I would sit there all quiet. Then, when the parent expected me to talk to the baby, I just felt silly! I don't know if I'm making any sense here....and I know I'm rambling....I'm just nervous and afraid that I won't be a good mother. I know that a lot of women go through these emotions before the baby comes....but I guess that every woman also feels like she's the first one to feel that way, ya know? It's the never ending cycle I guess.

Another thing that I am looking forward to but also dreading is all the family that will be here. My parents are going to drive here once they get the phone call and be in the delivery room with long as my labor lasts longer than 4 hours because that's how far away they are. Also, James' Aunt and Grandma will definetely be here. Then, his Dad and girlfriend are trying to fly in, plus his cousin and lastly my best friend is going to try and make it. I'm excited that our families will get a chance to meet finally and I'm excited because I know that everyone is going to me baking up a storm for us while they're here and bringing gifts and what not. But I'm dreading it because I've heard how families can be around new parents. I'll be grateful for advice and the help but I'm not looking forward to the "do it this way" "no, you have to do this" and pretty much being told what to do with my own baby and everyone thinking that their way is the right way. Again, I hope I'm making sense here....I'm not trying to sound bitchy or anything, but it's like the people who haven't taken care of a baby in 40 years feel as though they can tell you what to do and what not to do. I'm sure that everyone who's been a parent has some good advice and only means well, but I guess what I'm saying is, there's such a thing as being helpful and then there's over bearing......ya know?

However, it is family and family only means well so I know that I will just sit there and listen and nod at everything that is said. Because they all have to leave eventually! =^)

Well, this may be my last post for awhile but we'll see how the next week goes!

Wish me luck people!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Very true stuff....IMHO

Ok, so I got this great email today and I want to share it. Now, I realize that some may not agree with what I'm going to post here but it doesn't bother me because this is my personal blog and my personal opinions. If you don't agree then that's just fine because everyone is entitled to their own opinions. All I ask is for those of you that do not agree, please don't bother sending me mean comments because I will delete them. Feel free to send me comments of your point of view, but please leave the nastiness out of it. Thanks yall!

Oh! And for those of you that like what I am about to post, be sure to look at the bottom because it tells you where you can read more from this guy.


I’m Tired

Robert A. Hall

I’ll be 63 soon. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce, and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I’ve worked, hard, since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven’t called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn’t inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there’s no retirement in sight, and I’m tired. Very tired.
I’m tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth around" to people who don’t have my work ethic. I’m tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy or stupid to earn it.

I’m tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to "keep people in their homes." Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I’m willing to help. But if they bought McMansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the leftwing Congresscritters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them—with their own money.

I’m tired of being told how bad America is by leftwing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the religious freedom and women’s rights of Saudi Arabia, the economy of Zimbabwe, the freedom of the press of China, the crime and violence of Mexico, the tolerance for Gay people of Iran, and the freedom of speech of Venezuela. Won’t multiculturalism be beautiful?

I’m tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor;" of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren’t "believers;" of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery;" of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur’an and Shari’a law tells them to.

I believe "a man should be judged by the content of his character, not by the color of his skin." I’m tired of being told that "race doesn’t matter" in the post-racial world of President Obama, when it’s all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of US Senators from Illinois. I think it’s very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the emancipation proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less in an all-knowing government.

I’m tired of a news media that thinks Bush’s fundraising and inaugural expenses were obscene, but that think Obama’s, at triple the cost, were wonderful. That thinks Bush exercising daily was a waste of presidential time, but Obama exercising is a great example for the public to control weight and stress, that picked over every line of Bush’s military records, but never demanded that Kerry release his, that slammed Palin with two years as governor for being too inexperienced for VP, but touted Obama with three years as senator as potentially the best president ever.

Wonder why people are dropping their subscriptions or switching to Fox News? Get a clue. I didn’t vote for Bush in 2000, but the media and Kerry drove me to his camp in 2004.
I’m tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America, while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance.

I’m tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore’s, and if you’re greener than Gore, you’re green enough.

I’m tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? I don’t think Gay people choose to be Gay, but I damn sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I’m tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana.

I’m tired of illegal aliens being called "undocumented workers," especially the ones who aren’t working, but are living on welfare or crime. What’s next? Calling drug dealers, "Undocumented Pharmacists"? And, no, I’m not against Hispanics. Most of them are Catholic and it’s been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion. I’m willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person who can speak English, doesn’t have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military. Those are the citize ns we need.

I’m tired of latte liberals and journalists, who would never wear the uniform of the Republic themselves, or let their entitlement-handicapped kids near a recruiting station, trashing our military. They and their kids can sit at home, never having to make split-second decisions under life and death circumstances, and bad mouth better people then themselves. Do bad things happen in war? You bet. Do our troops sometimes misbehave? Sure. Does this compare with the atrocities that were the policy of our enemies for the last fifty years—and still are? Not even close. So here’s the deal. I’ll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because the girls were Christian. Then we’ll compare notes. British and American soldiers are the only troops in history that civilians came to for help and handouts, instead of hiding from in fear.

I’m tired of people telling me that their party has a corner on virtue and the other party has a corner on corruption. Read the papers—bums are bi-partisan. And I’m tired of people telling me we need bi-partisanship. I live in Illinois, where the "Illinois Combine" of Democrats and Republicans has worked together harmoniously to loot the public for years. And I notice that the tax cheats in Obama’s cabinet are bi-partisan as well..

I’m tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I’m tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.
Speaking of poor, I’m tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor. The majority of Americans didn’t have that in 1970, but we didn’t know we were "poor." The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing.

I’m real tired of people who don’t take responsibility for their lives and actions. I’m tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination, or big-whatever for their problems.
Yes, I’m damn tired. But I’m also glad to be 63. Because, mostly, I’m not going to get to see the world these people are making. I’m just sorry for my granddaughter.

Robert A. Hall is a Marine Vietnam veteran who served five terms in the Massachusetts state senate. He blogs at

P.S. Here's a very good quote that Robert Hall has on his blog that I would like to include on here.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not. --Thomas Jefferson

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Stupid weather!

So I am in week 36 and I wish this kid would hurry the hell up and pop out! haha. I just really really want my body back. I'm tired of sharing =^). Plus, I'm starting to get sick now and that really blows since I can't really do much, medication wise. I think it's because of this weather we're having. This time last week it actually felt really nice outside, then starting on Sunday, it gets freezing outside. We only got like an inch of snow here but the temp dropped down to the mid 20s and the windchill was like 15 degrees. BLAH!

James is in Indiana until this Saturday and has been since the sunday before last so I'm stuck alone in my apartment again. This weekend was nice though because my momma surprised me and came to visit for the weekend. It was so nice because she's been the one I've complained to the most about never feeling like I get any help and I wish James would pamper me just a little. And that's what she came here to do. She made me these tiny ham sandwiches that I love and would refill my drink if it was empty and clean out the litter box and wash the dishes. It was just so awesome to have her here with me for a couple days. I also got her hooked on Gilmore Girls! We had all these plans to go out and do all these errands that I've been putting off, but it rained all weekend and it was cold so we just decided to stay in most of the time. She taught me how to knit and got me a crocheting kit so I can learn how to do that too. We did get a couple errands out of the way but after 2 hours, we just wanted to go back to my place, throw on some comfy clothes and watch Gilmore Girls. =^)

It sucked so bad when she had to leave though. When I got back to my apartment after she left, it just felt so empty and I just sat down and started crying my eyes out. I miss my family so damn much! I can't wait to get out of the military because I want to move back to my hometown. I told James that night that I didn't think that I could stand another 4 years being that far away from my family.

But anyways, Catherine is dancing on my bladder again so I gotta run to the bathroom.

Have a good week everyone!!!