Hey everyone. Let me start off by saying that I hope everyone is having a good friday.
Yeah.....my last post was one big rant....and even though I thought I got it all out there, I'm still mad. Well....actually, I'm kinda sad today. My mom told me to kick the horomones ass and I tried, I really did. But then James got home yesterday and showed me the pictures from his trip. All of the one's with Madeline were extremely cute....she's such a pretty little girl....but there were two pitures that bothered me to no end. Two of them were of the three of them...as in, James, Madeline and baby momma. And I know some people may think that I'm over reacting but it hurt so damn bad to see the three of them together....like a happy little family. I seriously never realized how hard it was going to be to deal with the fact that he has another family....and I'm not apart of it. I know there are plenty of people out there who aren't with their baby mommas or daddies.....it's fairly common....but I've never been put in this situation before. But part of the reason why it bugs me so much is because we are married now and expecting....it's not like I'm just his girlfriend, because if I were, I'd understand him wanting to meet her alone. But I wanted to share that huge moment in his life WITH him. Even if I couldn't go, him just asking me to be there would've made me feel like he wanted to share it with me.
Also, I must be a horrible person because alot of times, I wish he didn't have another kid. I don't hate Madeline, I really don't. She's so cute and sweet and I'm glad she got to see her daddy.....but I just wish that this kid that I'm having was OUR first...not just MY first. You know? It makes me so sad to see pictures of all of them and know that they were all laughing together, sitting together and watching THEIR daughter laugh and play. And I was at home, alone, sitting on my ass hoping that I'd get a phone call from him telling me how much fun he's having and that he wishes I was there. Never got that phone call.
I really didn't think it was possible to hate a person this much. Actually, until now, I don't think I've ever truely hated someone.....but her.....I hate with a passion. I hate that she has a part of James' life for the rest of her life, I hate that no matter where we go or what we do in the future baby momma will know about it and will put her 2 cents in and she will always have that special bond with James because of Madeline.
Maybe it's just the horomones and maybe I'll stop being this sad and depressed and angry once the baby comes......God I hope so. I don't think I can take feeling like this anymore. It takes way too much out of me.
Once again, people may think that I'm overreacting, but this is how I feel at the moment.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Irritated tuesday
So today is not a good day and it's only 0830. The only good that could happen today would be the few inches of snow they are calling for. I love the snow and I really hope that we get some.
Anyways, so James is still in New York and is now wanting to stay till Friday. He said he'd be back today but not anymore! And it's not like I can really get mad at him or ask him to come home because he's with his daughter and I'd end up being a selfish bitch. So, now I am stuck in a pissed off place and without him for the rest of the week.
See, I don't mind at all that he's with his daughter. I think that part is great and I am so happy that he's bonding with her. However, it also means he's with the bitch BM. OH! And btw.....she sent me a message on myspace the day after she saw him that said stuff like "they bonded so quick." and "thanks for supporting James in meeting Madeline" blah blah blah......the message was all nice and sweet until the last part. And being as pregnant as I am....it reeeeeaaaallly got to me. She said, and I quote......
"4th of july is a good time for james to conceive children lol that is the day i conceived madeline and he told me thats when the 2 of you conceived your lil girl thought that was funny.but anyways write back when you can sweetie :) "
yeah....that's copy and paste right there. But can someone please explain to me when is it EVER ok to tell your baby daddy's pregnant wife what day yall fucked? I swear she is either just stupid as hell or she wrote it to deliberately piss me off. And why he's telling her when we did it too? I have no idea. Maybe it's just the horomones but I'm seriously irritated and sick of him being with BM everynight.
Listen, I've never been the jealous type but since I've been pregnant, my biggest fear is now cheating. I know some of it will go away when Catherine arrives and the horomones settle down but I think now that I have a husband and child that it will always be on the top of my fears list. And even though he's never given me a reason to believe that he'd cheat on me, I still see and hear about other's who did cheat and no one ever expected them to. Like one of my good friends has been with this guy for a little over a year now. And this guy has been in love with her forever. Since they were both like 14. Anyways, he slept with someone else not too long ago and it shocked the hell out of me and everyone else. They are still together because she decided to give him another chance.....but damn! I couldn't do that. I believe that if James ever slept with someone else, I could never look at him again, let alone sleep in the same bed. Another fear of mine is not knowing. Him cheating and if not getting back to me. I don't think I can really explain this one but all I know is that it scares me.
Ok, sorry guys. I didn't mean to write the entire about cheating and lying....haha. I'm just sad and irritated and lonely and jealous that BM is getting all this extra time with James and I'm not. I know he's not there to see her but it stills hurts and I can't help but second guess everything he or she says to me.
Fucking horomones.
Anyways, so James is still in New York and is now wanting to stay till Friday. He said he'd be back today but not anymore! And it's not like I can really get mad at him or ask him to come home because he's with his daughter and I'd end up being a selfish bitch. So, now I am stuck in a pissed off place and without him for the rest of the week.
See, I don't mind at all that he's with his daughter. I think that part is great and I am so happy that he's bonding with her. However, it also means he's with the bitch BM. OH! And btw.....she sent me a message on myspace the day after she saw him that said stuff like "they bonded so quick." and "thanks for supporting James in meeting Madeline" blah blah blah......the message was all nice and sweet until the last part. And being as pregnant as I am....it reeeeeaaaallly got to me. She said, and I quote......
"4th of july is a good time for james to conceive children lol that is the day i conceived madeline and he told me thats when the 2 of you conceived your lil girl thought that was funny.but anyways write back when you can sweetie :) "
yeah....that's copy and paste right there. But can someone please explain to me when is it EVER ok to tell your baby daddy's pregnant wife what day yall fucked? I swear she is either just stupid as hell or she wrote it to deliberately piss me off. And why he's telling her when we did it too? I have no idea. Maybe it's just the horomones but I'm seriously irritated and sick of him being with BM everynight.
Listen, I've never been the jealous type but since I've been pregnant, my biggest fear is now cheating. I know some of it will go away when Catherine arrives and the horomones settle down but I think now that I have a husband and child that it will always be on the top of my fears list. And even though he's never given me a reason to believe that he'd cheat on me, I still see and hear about other's who did cheat and no one ever expected them to. Like one of my good friends has been with this guy for a little over a year now. And this guy has been in love with her forever. Since they were both like 14. Anyways, he slept with someone else not too long ago and it shocked the hell out of me and everyone else. They are still together because she decided to give him another chance.....but damn! I couldn't do that. I believe that if James ever slept with someone else, I could never look at him again, let alone sleep in the same bed. Another fear of mine is not knowing. Him cheating and if not getting back to me. I don't think I can really explain this one but all I know is that it scares me.
Ok, sorry guys. I didn't mean to write the entire about cheating and lying....haha. I'm just sad and irritated and lonely and jealous that BM is getting all this extra time with James and I'm not. I know he's not there to see her but it stills hurts and I can't help but second guess everything he or she says to me.
Fucking horomones.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Today is my friday =^)
So I'm in a good mood today. Why? Well, thanks for asking.....=^)
I'm excited about this weekend because my parents are coming in town for like a total of 28 hours. They are driving here on Saturday morning and leaving sunday afternoon. I wish they could stay for a few days but I'll take what I can get. Do yall wanna know what the FIRST thing we'll do is? Go to the liquer store. haha. I don't drink....obviously....but liquer on base is a hell of alot cheaper than in a civilian store. So my daddy will want to immediately go to the NEX and stock up on cheap Crown Royal and Gin and Vodka to take home with him. He makes me pick up like 5 bottles of liquer whenever I plan on coming home....which didn't use to be a big deal but now since I'm, ya know, 30 weeks prego, I kind of get stared at funny. I always try and point out that I'm not the one drinking it but it still looks bad.....haha.....oh well.
Anyways, so it's also nice that they are coming in because it's a long weekend and my husband is driving to New York tonight until next tuesday or wednesday to visit his daughter. I never had a ton of friends here anyways, but now that I can't actually go out and have fun, I have even less people to hang out with. So it'll be awesome to have some company, other than my 2 cats, this weekend.
But speaking of visiting family, I just realized that I never told yall about my husband's kid. Her name is Madeline, or Maddie for short and she will be 3 at around the same time I pop this kid out. This will be the first time he even sees her in person. Ok, here's a little backround.....James and this chick BM(babymomma) dated for like 3 weeks the summer before he left for the Navy. He was off again with his on again off again girlfriend at the time and was partying and drinking all the time....who wasn't, I mean he was just an 18 year old kid just out of high school. Anyways, BM was also off again with some guy she'd been hooking up with for a couple years. So James and his girlfriend got back together and that was the end of BM....so he thought. This was all back in 2005 by the way.....THEN in the beginning of 2007, he gets word from a friend back home that BM is going around telling everyone that he's a daddy. The bitch knew it was his from the beginning, but didn't want her boyfriend to leave her so she let him think is was his and I guess he finally put 2 and 2 together and realized that Maddie looked just like James or heard about what she was saying or something. But it resulted in him breaking up with her and her coming after James for all the back child support that he owed. So he took a paternity test, finds out that he is in fact a daddy and then became like $4,000 in debt to BM.
Which let me take a moment to bitch about women like her.....FUCK THEM! OMG I hate women who fuck guys over like that. Yes, you are entitled to child support and any kind of help that you want, HOWEVER, you don't just lie for almost 2 years and then decide to tell the guy that he is in fact a father THEN attack him for all the child support from the time that he didn't know! If you tell the father you are pregnant and then he bails.....yes, go after the scumbag for money. If you are just a lying bitch who just wants to party and drink and pawn your kid off of everyone else, and you are STILL demanding all this money, then you are a worthless bitch. I HATE women like this!
Back to BM specifically....I hate her! Not because she had his child first.....which, I will admit, hurts from time to time, but I think it just the horomones.....but because she's an ill fit parent. Let me explain why I believe this before anyone says anything.
1. She parties constantly and wastes her money on things like alcohol all the time and since BM was living with her father, she just pawed Maddie off on him.
2. She's immature and makes stupid threats and tried to start crap with me. My husband went to Mississippi for training a few months ago and while he was gone she decided to start crap with me. She IMed me on myspace and at first the convo was friendly. Then it turned sad(on her side). I mean, she was saying stuff like "oh, I don't think I can do this anymore" "I should've gotten an abortion like James told me to"(which he didn't because he didn't even know he had a kid til Maddie was almost 1!) "it's too hard" "I think I'm going to give her up for adoption because I wanna go out and party and have fun" (her EXACT WORDS!) Let me just say how selfish that is AND how stupid. James has partial custody and never signed his paternal rights away so the dumb bitch can not give her up for adoption without HIS consent. Then the convo turned mean. She started to say crap like "he still loves me ya know" "he still tells me that he misses me and wants to be with me" and before I could say anything back to her, she signed off. So she was trying to fuck with my emotions now and trying to get a rise out of me. Well....she did....I was still in my 1st trimester and it was my birthday so I was all alone and extremely hormonal. I call James crying and screaming that if that dumb bitch fucks with me again that I was going to drive to New York my self and fuck her up. Anyways, my whole point in this one was to say that she constantly makes stupid threats and actually tells us she doesn't want to be a parent because all she wants to do is party and get drunk.
3. This is the last one. The way she brings news guys(and girls) around Maddie....and I don't mean introducing them as a friend. Introducing them and a whole lot more. She was in love with the guy who thought he was the dad. POOF, he disappears from Maddie's life. Then there were 2 or 3 other guys that BM brought around as "new daddies" and then POOF they disappear. Then she hooked up with her roomate's girlfriend(lesbians) and that's the new important person in mommy's life according to Maddie. And now she's with some douche named Kyle, who after 3 weeks, she's already got Maddie trained to call him "daddy." One of two things could happen here(hell, both are possible). One, it could fuck with Maddie's head....it could confuse her and ultimately screw her up in ways that we won't know about until she's older. And two, it could totally backfire on BM. I've heard this come from a friend's mouth when I was roughly 15 or 16 and I'm sure lots of you have......Maddie could grow up saying "Oh great, mom's got another new boyfriend over." "Can I stay with you, I don't wanna see mom's newest fling." You know what I mean?
There's so much more I could write about her but I'm getting angry just thinking about her. Grrrrrr!
haha ok, so this turned out to be a whole lot longer than I thought it would be. Well, I need to go pick up mail now so I'm out.
Hope everyone has a good weekend!
I'm excited about this weekend because my parents are coming in town for like a total of 28 hours. They are driving here on Saturday morning and leaving sunday afternoon. I wish they could stay for a few days but I'll take what I can get. Do yall wanna know what the FIRST thing we'll do is? Go to the liquer store. haha. I don't drink....obviously....but liquer on base is a hell of alot cheaper than in a civilian store. So my daddy will want to immediately go to the NEX and stock up on cheap Crown Royal and Gin and Vodka to take home with him. He makes me pick up like 5 bottles of liquer whenever I plan on coming home....which didn't use to be a big deal but now since I'm, ya know, 30 weeks prego, I kind of get stared at funny. I always try and point out that I'm not the one drinking it but it still looks bad.....haha.....oh well.
Anyways, so it's also nice that they are coming in because it's a long weekend and my husband is driving to New York tonight until next tuesday or wednesday to visit his daughter. I never had a ton of friends here anyways, but now that I can't actually go out and have fun, I have even less people to hang out with. So it'll be awesome to have some company, other than my 2 cats, this weekend.
But speaking of visiting family, I just realized that I never told yall about my husband's kid. Her name is Madeline, or Maddie for short and she will be 3 at around the same time I pop this kid out. This will be the first time he even sees her in person. Ok, here's a little backround.....James and this chick BM(babymomma) dated for like 3 weeks the summer before he left for the Navy. He was off again with his on again off again girlfriend at the time and was partying and drinking all the time....who wasn't, I mean he was just an 18 year old kid just out of high school. Anyways, BM was also off again with some guy she'd been hooking up with for a couple years. So James and his girlfriend got back together and that was the end of BM....so he thought. This was all back in 2005 by the way.....THEN in the beginning of 2007, he gets word from a friend back home that BM is going around telling everyone that he's a daddy. The bitch knew it was his from the beginning, but didn't want her boyfriend to leave her so she let him think is was his and I guess he finally put 2 and 2 together and realized that Maddie looked just like James or heard about what she was saying or something. But it resulted in him breaking up with her and her coming after James for all the back child support that he owed. So he took a paternity test, finds out that he is in fact a daddy and then became like $4,000 in debt to BM.
Which let me take a moment to bitch about women like her.....FUCK THEM! OMG I hate women who fuck guys over like that. Yes, you are entitled to child support and any kind of help that you want, HOWEVER, you don't just lie for almost 2 years and then decide to tell the guy that he is in fact a father THEN attack him for all the child support from the time that he didn't know! If you tell the father you are pregnant and then he bails.....yes, go after the scumbag for money. If you are just a lying bitch who just wants to party and drink and pawn your kid off of everyone else, and you are STILL demanding all this money, then you are a worthless bitch. I HATE women like this!
Back to BM specifically....I hate her! Not because she had his child first.....which, I will admit, hurts from time to time, but I think it just the horomones.....but because she's an ill fit parent. Let me explain why I believe this before anyone says anything.
1. She parties constantly and wastes her money on things like alcohol all the time and since BM was living with her father, she just pawed Maddie off on him.
2. She's immature and makes stupid threats and tried to start crap with me. My husband went to Mississippi for training a few months ago and while he was gone she decided to start crap with me. She IMed me on myspace and at first the convo was friendly. Then it turned sad(on her side). I mean, she was saying stuff like "oh, I don't think I can do this anymore" "I should've gotten an abortion like James told me to"(which he didn't because he didn't even know he had a kid til Maddie was almost 1!) "it's too hard" "I think I'm going to give her up for adoption because I wanna go out and party and have fun" (her EXACT WORDS!) Let me just say how selfish that is AND how stupid. James has partial custody and never signed his paternal rights away so the dumb bitch can not give her up for adoption without HIS consent. Then the convo turned mean. She started to say crap like "he still loves me ya know" "he still tells me that he misses me and wants to be with me" and before I could say anything back to her, she signed off. So she was trying to fuck with my emotions now and trying to get a rise out of me. Well....she did....I was still in my 1st trimester and it was my birthday so I was all alone and extremely hormonal. I call James crying and screaming that if that dumb bitch fucks with me again that I was going to drive to New York my self and fuck her up. Anyways, my whole point in this one was to say that she constantly makes stupid threats and actually tells us she doesn't want to be a parent because all she wants to do is party and get drunk.
3. This is the last one. The way she brings news guys(and girls) around Maddie....and I don't mean introducing them as a friend. Introducing them and a whole lot more. She was in love with the guy who thought he was the dad. POOF, he disappears from Maddie's life. Then there were 2 or 3 other guys that BM brought around as "new daddies" and then POOF they disappear. Then she hooked up with her roomate's girlfriend(lesbians) and that's the new important person in mommy's life according to Maddie. And now she's with some douche named Kyle, who after 3 weeks, she's already got Maddie trained to call him "daddy." One of two things could happen here(hell, both are possible). One, it could fuck with Maddie's head....it could confuse her and ultimately screw her up in ways that we won't know about until she's older. And two, it could totally backfire on BM. I've heard this come from a friend's mouth when I was roughly 15 or 16 and I'm sure lots of you have......Maddie could grow up saying "Oh great, mom's got another new boyfriend over." "Can I stay with you, I don't wanna see mom's newest fling." You know what I mean?
There's so much more I could write about her but I'm getting angry just thinking about her. Grrrrrr!
haha ok, so this turned out to be a whole lot longer than I thought it would be. Well, I need to go pick up mail now so I'm out.
Hope everyone has a good weekend!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Short week....woo hoo!
So I have a four day work week this week which is awesome! We have next monday off for Martin Luther King Jr day but my CO made an awesome rule that anytime we have a 3 day weekend....he will automatically extend it to a 4 day weekend. My boss rocks!
Anyways, I I wanna take some time here and bitch. I want to bitch and moan about being pregnant! I don't have many girlfriends and I can only bitch to my momma so many times. For one, the stretch marks. I know there are quite a few women who hardly get any or none at all....but I am def. NOT one of em =^( I try and take prego pictures and I can't actually show my belly in them because they look soooo nasty and red and gross. Plus, I'm starting to get these weird ones behind my knees on the inside of my legs. They're little but still ugly. I try cocoa butter and whatnot but it's not really doing anything. I guess that I'm just one of the unlucky women who have to deal with the nasty strectness.
2nd thing I hate about being pregnant.....shaving! I shave like once every week or 2....yes, it's gross I know....but it's also painful. I hate standing for that long and bending over. I've tried to take baths and do it but that doesn't really work because I can't get the angles right. I mean, to shave the back of my leg I'd have to lift and HOLD my leg in the air....and let's face it...if you've been pregnant, then you know that ain't gonna work! haha. So I warned my husband weeks and weeks ago that he better not complain once that my legs are hairy or I was going to shave his nipples. =^)
3rd thing I hate about being pregnant....my indecisiveness(sp?). Okay, so I don't know how many other women have had this problem......can't decide what to eat. I know lots of women get cravings and have to have that food now but I haven't gotten any cravings yet. See, I'll get hungry and really really want some food but I will have NO clue what I want. My husband gets so annoyed because I will sit there and bitch about being hungry for hours and simply not eat. He'll throw out ideas, but nothing ever sounds that good. So half the time I will go to bed hungry because I can't figure out what I want and I'd rather stay hungry than eat something I'm not sure about. hahaha it drived my husband friggin nuts!
4th thing I hated. I'm using past tense because they finally went away, or else it'd be number 1 on my list. The headaches. And I'm not talking about the everyday 10 minute long headache that people learn to deal with when working or at school or whatever. I'm talking about painful, can't walk or talk or move or breath and crying my eyes out migranes! OH MY GOD! I thought I was going to die yall! I never had a headache that bad before. I know migranes are actually a disease or something to that effect, so it may not have been full blown migranes BUT these were just as painful. If I walked the 80feet from my car to my desk, as soon as I would sit down it when the headache would start....and it would POUND! People thought I was just being the "emotional pregnant lady" because I was crying but I was crying because I was begging for it to stop and go away. Of course the only thing I was allowed to take was tylenol which didn't do shit for me. And the doctor told me that there wasn't really anything they could do either. These things lasted on and off everyday, all day for weeks. Plus the heat didn't help at the time. Summer is the worst time to be pregnant, I swear to God! So to be having my first trimester in July and August and September(which was just as hot at August) with all those early symptoms, like nausea and headaches.....I never want want to do it again! I wouldn't wish those kinds of headaches on my worst enemy! haha
Well, I think those are my biggest complaints so far from being pregnant. I still have 2 and a half months to go so I'll update that list....I'm sure I'll have more to bitch about =^)
Hope everyone has a good week yall!
Anyways, I I wanna take some time here and bitch. I want to bitch and moan about being pregnant! I don't have many girlfriends and I can only bitch to my momma so many times. For one, the stretch marks. I know there are quite a few women who hardly get any or none at all....but I am def. NOT one of em =^( I try and take prego pictures and I can't actually show my belly in them because they look soooo nasty and red and gross. Plus, I'm starting to get these weird ones behind my knees on the inside of my legs. They're little but still ugly. I try cocoa butter and whatnot but it's not really doing anything. I guess that I'm just one of the unlucky women who have to deal with the nasty strectness.
2nd thing I hate about being pregnant.....shaving! I shave like once every week or 2....yes, it's gross I know....but it's also painful. I hate standing for that long and bending over. I've tried to take baths and do it but that doesn't really work because I can't get the angles right. I mean, to shave the back of my leg I'd have to lift and HOLD my leg in the air....and let's face it...if you've been pregnant, then you know that ain't gonna work! haha. So I warned my husband weeks and weeks ago that he better not complain once that my legs are hairy or I was going to shave his nipples. =^)
3rd thing I hate about being pregnant....my indecisiveness(sp?). Okay, so I don't know how many other women have had this problem......can't decide what to eat. I know lots of women get cravings and have to have that food now but I haven't gotten any cravings yet. See, I'll get hungry and really really want some food but I will have NO clue what I want. My husband gets so annoyed because I will sit there and bitch about being hungry for hours and simply not eat. He'll throw out ideas, but nothing ever sounds that good. So half the time I will go to bed hungry because I can't figure out what I want and I'd rather stay hungry than eat something I'm not sure about. hahaha it drived my husband friggin nuts!
4th thing I hated. I'm using past tense because they finally went away, or else it'd be number 1 on my list. The headaches. And I'm not talking about the everyday 10 minute long headache that people learn to deal with when working or at school or whatever. I'm talking about painful, can't walk or talk or move or breath and crying my eyes out migranes! OH MY GOD! I thought I was going to die yall! I never had a headache that bad before. I know migranes are actually a disease or something to that effect, so it may not have been full blown migranes BUT these were just as painful. If I walked the 80feet from my car to my desk, as soon as I would sit down it when the headache would start....and it would POUND! People thought I was just being the "emotional pregnant lady" because I was crying but I was crying because I was begging for it to stop and go away. Of course the only thing I was allowed to take was tylenol which didn't do shit for me. And the doctor told me that there wasn't really anything they could do either. These things lasted on and off everyday, all day for weeks. Plus the heat didn't help at the time. Summer is the worst time to be pregnant, I swear to God! So to be having my first trimester in July and August and September(which was just as hot at August) with all those early symptoms, like nausea and headaches.....I never want want to do it again! I wouldn't wish those kinds of headaches on my worst enemy! haha
Well, I think those are my biggest complaints so far from being pregnant. I still have 2 and a half months to go so I'll update that list....I'm sure I'll have more to bitch about =^)
Hope everyone has a good week yall!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Guess who's back.......
Hello everyone. So I took a little hiatus(sp?) from blogging. So much was going on with me and my family and my boyfriend. But I keep getting comments from people asking me what's going on because they see me commenting on other people's blogs.....so here I am =^)
As some of you may know, I am pregnant. I'm 30 weeks along and it is with the guy that I was bitching about in my last post. We are still together and doing good. But let me back up a little and explain.....
I ended my last post kinda angry talking about what a douchbag my boyfriend is. Well, that was true....but I'm also a bitch. I know I've been kind of vague on describing our relationship but that's only because I don't want to bitch about him and make it look like he's a horrible person because he's really not. We both are just very strongminded and stubborn and can be really mean when we fight. To understand us, you'd have to actually know us. I hope I'm making some sense here.
So, here is my disclaimer.....if I come on here bitching about him, please keep in mind that this is MY blog. And I don't mean that I don't want yall's comments. What I mean by "my blog" is that it's mine, not his. So, here I'm allowed to bitch and moan and whine about him. It'll help me from ripping my hair out or kicking him in the nuts =^). This blog will help me get my aggression out and calm myself down. Also, I think I'm entitled to be a little one sided on here if I want, because once again, this is my blog, not his. He doesn't know about it so it lets me vent without fear of hurting him or pissing him off.
Ok, so now that I have THAT out of the way, on to some other things......
Yes, we were fighting back when I left off, but we have a way of yelling and saying mean things to each other, then not talking for a day or so then we both apologize for everything that was said. Some people may not find this healthy or whatever but I love the man and have loved him for the last 2 and a half years. It kind of reminds me of the couple's relationship in the notebook. They scream and holler at each other but they were crazy about each other =^).
We got pregnant on July 4th.....how do I know the exact date? Well, let's just say that our good buddy Jack Daniels was involved in making that happen. And we got married on November 12th on our 2 year anniversary. Even though it wasn't planned(most aren't anyways) I am excited to be having a little girl. She is due March 30 and I am getting more excited and nervous and scared every day. We are naming her Catherine Mae. Catherine was my husband's mom's name, and she died of cancer when he was about 16 so he really wanted to name her after her. And Mae is my middle name and my momma's middle name and my mamaw's middle name and my great mamaw's middle name....I think you get the picture.
Anyhoo....someone was asking if I was still deploying....sadly, no. I didn't get to go because of Catherine. I didn't want to be away from my family and friends for 6 months anyways, but the money I was going to be making would've been very nice. I get out this summer and we are still debating on whether or not my husband is going to stay in. If he gets these orders that he really wants then he will stay in for another 4 years but if not then he's going to get out and go to the police force. Even though I would LOVE for him to get out also and for us to move back to my hometown...I know that it's a smarter decision for him to stay in for another 4 years......damn recession. Him staying in will give us a little more stability financially and it'll also give me some wiggle room for school.
Alrighty yall......it's about lunchtime and I am starving! So thank you to those who were wondering how I was doing! I'll update again soon! <3
As some of you may know, I am pregnant. I'm 30 weeks along and it is with the guy that I was bitching about in my last post. We are still together and doing good. But let me back up a little and explain.....
I ended my last post kinda angry talking about what a douchbag my boyfriend is. Well, that was true....but I'm also a bitch. I know I've been kind of vague on describing our relationship but that's only because I don't want to bitch about him and make it look like he's a horrible person because he's really not. We both are just very strongminded and stubborn and can be really mean when we fight. To understand us, you'd have to actually know us. I hope I'm making some sense here.
So, here is my disclaimer.....if I come on here bitching about him, please keep in mind that this is MY blog. And I don't mean that I don't want yall's comments. What I mean by "my blog" is that it's mine, not his. So, here I'm allowed to bitch and moan and whine about him. It'll help me from ripping my hair out or kicking him in the nuts =^). This blog will help me get my aggression out and calm myself down. Also, I think I'm entitled to be a little one sided on here if I want, because once again, this is my blog, not his. He doesn't know about it so it lets me vent without fear of hurting him or pissing him off.
Ok, so now that I have THAT out of the way, on to some other things......
Yes, we were fighting back when I left off, but we have a way of yelling and saying mean things to each other, then not talking for a day or so then we both apologize for everything that was said. Some people may not find this healthy or whatever but I love the man and have loved him for the last 2 and a half years. It kind of reminds me of the couple's relationship in the notebook. They scream and holler at each other but they were crazy about each other =^).
We got pregnant on July 4th.....how do I know the exact date? Well, let's just say that our good buddy Jack Daniels was involved in making that happen. And we got married on November 12th on our 2 year anniversary. Even though it wasn't planned(most aren't anyways) I am excited to be having a little girl. She is due March 30 and I am getting more excited and nervous and scared every day. We are naming her Catherine Mae. Catherine was my husband's mom's name, and she died of cancer when he was about 16 so he really wanted to name her after her. And Mae is my middle name and my momma's middle name and my mamaw's middle name and my great mamaw's middle name....I think you get the picture.
Anyhoo....someone was asking if I was still deploying....sadly, no. I didn't get to go because of Catherine. I didn't want to be away from my family and friends for 6 months anyways, but the money I was going to be making would've been very nice. I get out this summer and we are still debating on whether or not my husband is going to stay in. If he gets these orders that he really wants then he will stay in for another 4 years but if not then he's going to get out and go to the police force. Even though I would LOVE for him to get out also and for us to move back to my hometown...I know that it's a smarter decision for him to stay in for another 4 years......damn recession. Him staying in will give us a little more stability financially and it'll also give me some wiggle room for school.
Alrighty yall......it's about lunchtime and I am starving! So thank you to those who were wondering how I was doing! I'll update again soon! <3
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