11 hours of sleep, yet still tired

Have you ever been happy and pissed at the same time? It's an odd feeling. I mean, most of me is pissed but I am happy about atleast one thing.

First on to the thing that I'm happy about.....

I found out today that I got approval to take the advancement exam in March. See, in the military, in order to get paid more you have to take an exam in either March or September. I was eligible last March but I wasn't allowed to take the exam. I am undesignated, which means I don't have an actual rate at the moment. So in order for someone, in my shoes, to take any other rate's test, that said rate has to be open. Well, so many people were in the rate that I wanted that it was closed, until now. Anyways, now it's open enough to where all I needed was special approval to take it and I just found out that I got approved. So in March I take the exam and hopefully I can pass because it's one of the biggest payraises you can get.

Now on to the not so good things....

I found out yesterday that I am deploying this year =^(. Origionally I thought my command wasn't going until May of 2009, and since I get out in August of 2009 I wouldn't be going. But NO! They had to change it to this year. So in about 9 months I'll be deploying for probably 6 months. The only good thing about it is the money, I'll get paid pretty damn good while I'm there and it's not like I'd be spending alot of money over there either. So when I get back, I'll have enough money to pay off my car and get an apartment back at home when I get out. But because of this news, James and I got into a fight. It was so damn stupid how it got started too. He was goofing off when I was trying to talk to him about it and I kept asking him to stop and listen to me....over and over again. Finally I got irritated enough and said "Look. I'm not joking around, can you please stop and fucking listen to me!? What you're doing is NOT cute and I am trying to talk to you about what's going on!" And of course HE'S the one who gets extremely pissed at me and starts acting like a dick. I won't go into detail, but he started saying some really mean and uncalled for things to me. Then he gives me some bullshit apology like an hour later when he realized that I was really not going to talk to him and I told him to forget it. I'm sorry but if you don't mean it when you say you're sorry then I don't want to hear it. And that's what I told him. I was like, leave me alone because I don't believe that you're sorry and what you said hurt alot.

So, I went to sleep. Whenever I cry I get really tired so I was in bed by 6. This morning he comes stumbling out of the bedroom and says "Baby, I'm sorry. Are you still mad?" And I said "Damn right I'm still mad. You said some really hurtful things and frankly, I don't want to hear it." He kept talking but that was where I stopped. I am so hurt and pissed right now I could cry, but I'm at work so I'm trying to keep it together.

Grrrrr! Sometimes I just really want to slap the ignorance and stubborness out of him. Anybody else ever feel that way about your guy?